Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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