just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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