I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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