ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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