4 words: hood of his car
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
