I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
accomplished twins. life is a go
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
