i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
