ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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