On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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