i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
