Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
