guys are only as good as the porn they watch
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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