you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
