Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
