Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize