my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
