I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
