I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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