Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
