Who wears a wallet chain?!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
