I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The power of my boobs compel you
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
