You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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