So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
