I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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