I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
