I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
