I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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