all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I need to calm my uterus...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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