He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
