I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
