they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
