Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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