i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
