Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
