the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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