I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
