So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He felt like a one man threesome
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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