I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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