I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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