If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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