i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
