note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize