I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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