im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
