Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
