absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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