his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
