I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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