this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
