you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
