I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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