i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
