You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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