I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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