therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
