her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize