Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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