We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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