We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
